In case you haven’t noticed, facial hair is all the rage right now. No-Shave November. Movember. For those of us who’ve been in the beard and mustache wearing biz for many years (over 25 for me), we say it’s long overdo. In fact, maybe that’s what wrong with our country: We haven’t had a president with facial hair since the early 1900s (credit Honest Abe with starting the trend in the 1860s). Anyway, I digress.
If you are serious about being a part of the facial hair phenomenon, here are some tips–no, strike that–rules that you must follow for everyone’s safety:
- Get a Stiff Upper Lip. Listen, if you aren’t either a real cowboy or in a motorcycle gang, trim your mustache. Personally, I never have understood the desire to grow your mustache until it covers the upper lip. It’s a hygiene issue. Food on the mustache is just an unacceptably low standard. However, if you choose to violate this rule of hygiene, at least make sure that the mustache is properly groomed (meaning all the same length while covering your upper lip). Come on man, take some pride in your ‘stache.
- Neck Beards Are Not Okay. Even certified rebels such as cowboys and bikers don’t often violate this rule. You are not a caveman. Beards are an 11 on a scale of 1 to 10, but too much of anything is still too much. Beards were meant for the face. Shave your neck. Every day. (I suppose an exception might be if your beard is so long that it covers your neck. Otherwise, just shave it.)
- Don’t Ignore Those Face Deserts. There is no shame in having a region of your face that is barren. It happens to the best of us. But pretending that it has hair doesn’t make the hair magically grow in those deserts. Instead, experiment with a style and technique that makes the desert blend in naturally. If you are new to facial hair (or have never really given your pride much thought), you may be surprised to know that there are many ways to show off your whiskers. Take a look at sites such as http://www.beards.org/ or http://www.worldbeardchampionships.com/ for inspiration.
I leave you with a few words of wisdom:
“We have now for many centuries triumphed over nature to the extent of making certain secondary characteristics of the male (such as the beard) disagreeable to nearly all the females–and there is more in that than you might suppose.” –C.S. Lewis
“There is always a period when a man with a beard shaves it off. This period does not last. He returns headlong to his beard.” –Jean Cocteau
“Kissing a man with a beard is a lot like going to a picnic. You don’t mind going through a little bush to get there!” –Minnie Pearl